Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Working The Night Shift

One of the anxieties I experienced while I was pregnant, was the fear that something bad would happen to Tyler or our marriage and I would have to be a parent on my own.  I was so excited to be a family and share all of the parenting adventures with Tyler, it was paralyzing to think about having to be a single parent.

While I was pregnant I prayed a lot about how to overcome this fear and I asked God to help me trust Him.  God promises us that he will never give us anything in life that we don't have the skills and ability to handle.  He also asks us to trust Him.  

In addition to studying the Bible, I also study the practice of yoga and non attachment is something I have read a lot about.  Yoga teaches that being attached to things and people can have a negative effect on our lives in different ways.  For me, being extremely attached to Tyler caused me anxiety and fear. Instead of worrying about what negative things could happen in the future, I need to be present and enjoy what is happening right now. 

When Tyler, Luke and I returned home from the hospital I was confronted head on with my fear, Tyler was going to be going on nights and I would be alone with Luke through the evenings.  I was exhausted and emotional and sad that I would be alone at night but I knew that it was the best thing for our family at that time so I started to pray.  I asked for courage and peacefulness and for my sadness and loneliness in the evenings to disappear.  

Through my prayers, I learned that I need to rely on God first before anyone else and that I am capable of handelling the situations I once feared.  The more I talked to God, the less alone I felt.  I was filled with a calm and the strength to go through my motherly tasks enjoying the special time with my son despite being tired.  God answered my prayers for comfort in the form of my family and friends, I had lots of visitors during the evenings so I was rarely alone all night. 

With God on my side I can handle anything and I am grateful for the lessons I learned through this challenging time. 

God doesn't always give us what we want in the form we think it should be delivered and sometimes we need to go through a challenge to truly grow.  

Thanks be to God! 

Thursday, 2 October 2014


I am a pisces and I definitely think that my sign has something to do with my personality and character traits.  One thing that leads me to think this way, is the piece I feel when I am near water.  This could also be because I grew up on the beach but when I need time to reflect and find piece, I often find myself by the water.  It's easy for me to think clearly near the water and sort out my thoughts or simply forget about things that are bothering me.  I feel close to God and a connection with nature near water as well.  Where do you find piece? 

Monday, 29 September 2014

Luke - 1 Month Old

It's been an awesome adventure so far being a parent and this first month has flown by. 

Luke, these are the things we loved most about you during this first month. 

Your fuzzy head and your skin is so soft, I love to hold you close to my face and rub my cheek on yours. 

Your grunts and squeaks are the best noises. 

When your waking up slowly you give us these big smiles that show off your dimples and make us forget how tired we are.  It makes me happy to know your happy! 

How peaceful you look when you sleep. 

How you feel when you fall asleep in my arms, fully trusting your whole body on mine. 

How big and bright your eyes are and how you are already trying to hold up your head. 

5:00am feedings. Dad has been working nights but when you wake up at 5, dad comes home shortly after and we all get to hang out for a bit and go back to bed together when you fall asleep.  Your dad is so excited to see you when he gets home from work. 

Thr angry face and noise you make, when I take the bottle out of your mouth half way through feeding to burp you. 

I love that you like eating, the first two weeks of breastfeeding were challenging but now that we have feeding figured out, you are so content most of the time. I hope you always have a healthy appetite and I can't wait to cook for you when you are bigger. 

Luke, you officially made your dad and I a family and we feel so blessed to have you!  We can't wait to see what next month holds. 

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

You Can Never Have Too Many Friends

I am so blessed to have some of the best friends!  My girlfriends mean something special to me and each relationship is unique.  The older I get the more value I find in these relationships and the more I understand that friendships require work similar to a marriage.  They require time and effort from both people involved and as we grow up and go in various directions, we need to learn to still find common ground. 

Common ground can't just be our past either, it needs to be in the present as well, I don't believe a friendship can sustain time just because we were friends when we were kids.

I believe my friendships are important not only because they bring me happiness but also because each one makes me better for the other relationships in my life, whether that be with my husband, as a mom, as an employee or co-worker, they enhance me. I learn different things from each friendship and hopefully they each feel like I bring something unique to the table as well.

I don't think you can ever have too many friends.  One thing I would like to work on as a friend myself, is being more fearless when it comes to building new friendships and strengthening my current relationships.  Friendships take work and are a two way street, what would you like to improve about being a good friend?

I have loved all the visitors I have had since we brought Luke home and am especially grateful right now for the company and support of all our friends.


Thursday, 11 September 2014

Our First Week With Luke

Luke is one week old today, and wow, has our worlds changed in such a short period of time, in the coolest way possible.  I wanted to share the last week on my blog because I have really enjoyed chatting with some of my mom friends about their experiences of becoming parents, sharing with others and listening to their stories makes me feel like I have a greater connection with them.  I also wanted to get my thoughts down so I would have a record of our first week as a family of four (I am including Charlie), I know things are going to move quickly and I want to be sure to capture as much as possible.  So while Luke sleeps, I thought I would jot down some thoughts from our first week as a family.  (And yes, I know I am suppose to sleep while he sleeps, I just woke up from a nap and he is still sleeping, so bonus for me.)

My birth experience was intense, after about 12 hours of labour we decided to do a cesarean section because I suddenly got a fever and Luke's heart rate started to rise.  Even though labour didn't go like we had planned, we know things went the way they were supposed to because now Luke is here, happy and healthy.

Recovery was overwhelming because I had no idea what to expect from the surgery.  Just a week after, I am beginning to feel more like myself each day, my staples have been removed and almost all of my swelling from the IV has gone down.

Because Luke was delivered by cesarean section, we were required to stay in the hospital for 4 days.  I am grateful for that time in the tiny hospital room with Tyler, Luke and the nurses, for those four days the world outside really did stop and all Tyler and I cared about was figuring out this little man we had been blessed with.  We spent so much time talking, being excited about what the future would hold for us as a family and asking lots of questions.  Our nurses took amazing care of us, answering our questions, ensuring we were getting rest and helping us figure out how to breastfeed.  I was so excited to get out of the hospital but I have to say, I will always have a special place in my heart for room 089 on the maternity floor because thats were this whole adventure started.

When we came home with Luke, I was overwhelmed with emotion and still am.  I can honestly say I have never cried so much in one week.  They are tears of joy of course, I feel like my whole being is overflowing with love and gratitude for my husband, the healthy boy we have been blessed with and the love and support of our family and friends as we adjust to our new role as parents.  I think it is safe to say, I am going to be one of those moms that cries about everything.

I love my son to the moon and back.  Waking up in the middle of the night is hard for me because I love my sleep but I am enjoying his snuggles, his big blue eyes staring at me, his little smiles and faces and simply being with him.  Most of all though, I am blown away by the big new love I have for Tyler, he continues to impress me daily with his daddy skills, pride for his son and how he has been taking care of me.

Its been one of the craziest, happiest, emotional weeks of my life.  I am so excited that this new chapter has started and I can't wait to see what else parenthood has in store for Tyler and I.

Here are some photos from our first week, Tyler and I have also never been so snap happy.  Tyler ran out of storage on his phone already so we had to do a big download.  Here are some of our favourites.

Just a few minutes old.

Meeting aunt Ashley and cousin Blaine. 

The next generation of Lapier boys, everyone better watch out. 

Father son snuggles. 

Bringing Luke home for the first time. 

Nap buddies. 

Our first family walk. 

Big smiles. 

A little rest in his crib.

Luke's first car ride, he didn't love it. 

Charlie and Luke meet for the first time. 

Me and Luke during our first family photo shoot. 

Father sone bonding time. 


Wednesday, 3 September 2014

My First Baby, My Fur Baby

I always grew up having a dog so when Tyler and I bought our house 7 years ago, I started talking about getting a puppy.  To me, a house just didn't feel like a home until we had a dog.  Tyler finally caved and we went to the pet store to pick out a dog.  I was looking at some pure bread pugs and then Tyler picked Charlie out of the cage, handed him to me and said, "this guy is our dog".  The woman at the store said he looked like a Charlie and we had already been thinking about that name, so we took it as a sign and named him Charlie on the spot. 

Charlie was a very small puppy, just a few pounds when we brought him home so for the first couple weeks we could literally take him everywhere in my purse.  We felt so bad when we had to leave this little thing in a big crate while we were at work all day, we just wanted him with us the rest of the time.  Needless to say, he had us wrapped around his little paw from day one. 

Charlie is spoiled but having him as our first baby taught us a few lessons about discipline that we intend to not let slide with our first born child.  I know that having a puppy and baby is not the same thing but I feel like I have gained some real perspective on parenting from my years with Charlie.

Through my pregnancy he really has been a best friend and a huge support.  There where days where I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and he was right there with me.  He has walked with me, gained weight with me and as we get closer to delivery, he has become very protective.  I have no doubt he knows something big is coming and he has been ready, each day for the last month. 

I do think bringing home the baby will be an adjustment for our fur baby but I think he is going to do great.  I am grateful to have him around the house with me during this time and I am so excited to take him and baby for walks together.  Charlie is also my running partner and I am really looking forward to getting our pace back once this baby arrives, I figure by Christmas we will both have our running stride and post pregnancy weight in check.  I loved Charlie so much before I got pregnant but I have a whole new appreciation for him after we have been through this time together.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Why I Blog

I have been blogging for about three years now and I love this creative outlet more today than I did when I started.  I find so much freedom in putting my thoughts down and sharing them with the world.  I have also discovered some amazing bloggers who tell stories about their own lives and experiences in a way that I can relate too, which makes me feel connected to these people that I otherwise may not have had the opportunity to meet.

I started blogging because I was trying to sort out the thoughts inside my head and writing them down really helped.  Then I decided to share these thoughts because of the positive experience I had when reading other blogs.  Having the ability to relate to a bloggers situation gave me comfort knowing I wasn't alone in my feelings and opinions.  So I thought, maybe I can offer someone else this same comfort by sharing my story. 

I believe that we have the ability to create amazing connections with others if we simply remove the fear that they may judge us.  Life is not a stream of perfect instagram photos, its messy, disappointing, exciting, hopeful and so much more and for me to feel truly connected with someone, I want to see all of their sides, not just the pretty ones.  And for me to acquire the trust of someone else, I also need to be willing to show all my sides, to me this is the equation to a real relationship.

Social media presents us with the opportunity to connect with people all over the world who share similar interests as we do.  By using social media as a two way communication tool, I have connected with graphic designers in LA, Yoga Teachers that travel the world and regular girls like me who have the same interests as I do.

I blog because it provides me with a creative outlet and a way to share my life with anyone who is interested in taking part in the conversation because I want to connect with people.